Be Successful and Feel Happier
Overcome negativity, feel happier and live a life filled with abundance and success.
Lately, I have been reading quite a bit about healing and negativity. Especially about how to overcome negative thoughts after trauma.
There is a lot of great stuff out there on the world wide web. About positivity, healing and overcoming negativity. Lots of articles filled with suggestions on forgiveness and healing.
Some of which I agree with. Many I do not.
I read an excellent book last year written by Pauline Longdon. It’s her true story of how she overcame depression after being discharged from the Australian Army.
Where she became depressed because of the way she was treated.
Not too far off from something I’ve experienced…
Pauline was an Army Nurse where she experienced some dreadful things. I won’t give too much away since I strongly encourage you to read the book. After being told by the Army that she would never recover, she eventually healed herself. She has since become successful and a highly sought after speaker and copywriter.
Her book is called, “From Depression’s Darkness to the Light of Life.”
If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend it. Whether you have personally felt depressed or not. Chances are you or someone you know will experience it. Her story will give you a deeper understanding of what one goes through during and after trauma.
One suggestion she shares, which I absolutely love, is that you don’t have to forgive your abuser. You should, however, find a way to stop allowing them to harm you.
Instead Pauline suggests that you “release them” from your thoughts.
She encourages you to repeat, either out loud or to yourself, “I release you.”
In doing this you stop allowing them to infect your thoughts. To release them from continuing to harm you. By reliving horrific memories, negative emotions and thoughts.
Another thing she writes in her book, which really struck a chord in me, is that you begin to blame yourself for feeling depressed. You blame yourself for allowing people and memories to harm you.
You blame yourself for not being stronger. Even though it would take a superhuman to overcome most traumatic situations. Without being affected emotionally or in some way.
Yet, we can have a tendency to become our own worst enemy.
I being the proactive type, who is very healthy and one of the most emotionally stable people I know, do my own research. And I am proud to say that I have become a master at self-healing and care.
Through my research, I have found that a majority of the articles I have read (even from reputable sources) are all bullshit.
“Think positive,” they say.
“Your thoughts become your actions!” They shout with confidence.
“Think happy thoughts and the universe will bring you prosperity and abundance.”
Oh, and this one is my favorite: “You are bringing the negativity upon yourself.”
I have to call BS on that one too. Now I realize, that yes there are quite a lot of folks who spew negativity.
Like rain pouring down from the gutters during a hurricane.
I’m not talking about them. The people I am speaking of are people like Pauline and me. Successful, good natured, kind and compassionate people. Who go through “normal” tough times in life.
Who sometimes may suffer from PTSD after suffering through (and overcoming) horrific attacks. Along with many, many other people. Who have suffered inexplicable and unnecessary trauma. Often caused by circumstances beyond their control.
The truth is bad things happen to good people.
Saying that people harmed you because you brought it upon yourself is like saying, “She was raped because she wore a skirt.”
Claiming that you deserved it because you were bragging or boasting about your success, is ludicrous. When and if you were simply sharing your success with so-called friends.
To even suggest that all your troubles came about because you had (gasp!) negative thoughts…
It’s absurd, to say the least.
There is nothing wrong with wearing a nice skirt and showing off your legs. There is nothing wrong with pursuing your dreams. And there is certainly nothing wrong with telling friends and family about your career achievements.
Especially if you are trying to build a following on social media to build your business.
You should be able to enjoy your success and share it with your friends and family. Without jealousy or judgment.
But here is the reality and the raw truth of it all: “The idea of you getting rich makes most people sick.”
Not everyone of course. Other successful people like us usually “get it.”
It’s the people who are NOT pursuing their dreams and passions. People who are stuck in unhappy marriages. People who unhappily go to their 9 to 5 jobs every day and people who work 80 hours a week – to hustle! To pay off the credit card debt they’ve accumulated.
These are the folks who will turn their backs on you, the second someone steps on you.
Then while you’re down, they will kick you. Again and again.
So then, will simply having “positive thoughts” bring you good fortune, fame, success, and abundance? Beyond your wildest dreams?
I highly doubt it. Sorry, Earl Nightingale. Good book, but…
The reality is that the more people you help, the more wealth, prosperity and happiness you will enjoy throughout your lifetime. Zig Ziglar had it right when he said, “You can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.”
I concur.
Which is why it is so important for me to share my story. I have struggled with this. Deeply struggled with whether or not I should tell the world what actually happened to me. Mostly, because I don’t want my children to be more hurt than they already have been.
With that said though, we have already been hurt. I cannot erase the past. Having a loving, caring mom, like myself who’s been terribly hurt, is still hurting them. Even if it is indirectly.
Trauma can affect you in every single aspect of your life. Your career, your health, your relationships, the decisions you make and your happiness.
Here’s a strange secret for you, “Greed, jealousy, envy, and money will make people do sick things.”
If by now you are thinking, “Oh my! She’s so negative!”
Damn right, I am.
Because it feels good, to tell the truth.
Without the fear of judgment or abandonment. You see, I have nothing to lose. But I have everything to gain by sharing my positive outlook on life.
Despite my telling it like it is.
The truth might “seem” negative. But in reality, knowing the truth can help you prevent bad things from happening to you.
Being aware is being educated and prepared.
In reality, for every unkind person I have met throughout my life, there have been at least two people who have been kind.
People who I now call “Angels.”
Despite my seeming negative, I have a miraculous gift for finding a positive in every negative or unpleasant situation. Even when my beloved sister died of breast cancer. Despite how painful it was, I was able to be thankful for the time we had together.
I was thankful that instead of her dying suddenly, that she was given the opportunity to say goodbye to her friends & family during her final days.
Our entire family gathered at my nephew’s wedding only weeks before she died.
Then on the day she died, many of her close friends came to visit her at the hospital. Making her laugh while sharing stories and happy memories. One friend even brought in 2 bottles of champagne. So we could toast and celebrate Natalie’s life.
Instead of mourning her death.
I have always been a happy person. Just a normal, cheerful person. Who feels sad over normal things and who feels overjoyed by huge accomplishments. Like finally publishing my first book!
Like being asked to become the health & fitness expert on an award-winning radio show. A live radio show with millions of listeners.
Who wouldn’t feel happy?
Yet, people can (and will) find a way to spin positive situations into negative ones. Often for personal gain for themselves.
Lies, however, can only go so far.
I know deep down in my heart that the truth will set me free.
Just like Cheryl Strayed shared her story in her book Wild. How she fell into a state of depression after her mom passed. Then how she overcame her drug and sex addiction by seeking solace while hiking the Pacific Crest Trail.
Similar to how Elizabeth Gilbert told her passionate true story in her book Eat Pray Love. Her story about her search for everything in life. After losing it all. Through travel, meditation and enjoying delicious food in Italy. Then finally finding love again on the romantic, tropical island of Bali.
These are another two of my favorite inspirational books.
Why?
Because I can relate to both of their personal stories.
I too have been searching for my mission in life. To find peace, love, success, and happiness. I too became depressed after being knocked down. By people who I once thought cared about me.
What if I didn’t share my story?
What if someone out there needs my help right this minute? But because I’m too “fraidy cat” to share it, it doesn’t get told? With over 7 billion people on our planet, chances are pretty good someone has experienced something similar.
I have decided to share my story with the world.
A finally started writing this book. My story of how I went from surviving to thriving again. I named chapter one “The Beginning of the End.”
Because it is all up hill from here on out.
A good friend of mine recently said to me, “Re-write your story.”
That is exactly what I am doing. Regardless of how many more times I get knocked down. Or how many people kick me while I am there. This is it.
The beginning of the best part of my life.
I will not allow anything or anyone to stop me from feeling happy again.
Nor should you. Regardless of what you might be experiencing right now, remember this…
“Happiness is a feeling.”
This gift I spoke about, having been blessed with the ability to find a positive side, to even the darkest of situations…
It wouldn’t be fair not to share that gift with you.
Money and wealth have never been my main goal in life. Helping people makes me feel happy. It has always been my first priority. But I now realize the importance of wealth and security. You need money to have power.
To fight when you are being attacked, protect yourself and your family. And so you can hire the best lawyers (if ever needed).
Especially, to help maintain your stability through tough times.
Which is exactly why I created The Power of Writing. To help more women like me, go from surviving to thriving again.
If this could happen to me, there is no question in my mind, that it could happen to anyone.
Don’t wait another second. Don’t be unprepared the way I was. You never know what could happen tomorrow.
Are you ready to share your story with the world?
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